Friday 24 June 2011

My local paper had an article about the long running Uncanny X-MEN being put to rest. It was very salutational. The press pays so little interest to comic books that it doesn't realize how these things work. They're just closing down the one X-men comic so they can start up again with two. It will be a pincer tactic. One goes downwind of the readers with the bucket of shit, while the other creeps up behind and holds their mouths open for the first one to drop it all in. They could just have handed out knives and forks.

At the same time DC is restarting all their comics. They called a board meeting. "It's no good," they said, "We've made such a mess of it, the only thing to do is start over and see if we can make it come out right this time."

Hollywood has also realized that in the comic book genre everything gets less interesting the further it gets from the origin story. So Batman gets rebooted after the next one. The X-men is back to the prequel, etc etc. There was a spark of creativity a long time ago and the car was still coasting except now they're at the bottom of the hill and they all have to get out and push.

*********
Hayley Campbell explains why The Lord of the Rings is like anal sex.

Is that a bit like the famous scene from Monty Python?:

JAMES McNEILL WHISTLER:
Your Majesty is like a stream of bat's piss.
(gasps)
THE PRINCE OF WALES:
What?
JAMES McNEILL WHISTLER:
It was one of Wilde's.
OSCAR WILDE:
It sodding was not! It was Shaw!
THE PRINCE OF WALES:
Well, Mr. Shaw?

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